Mike Adams
Natural News
February 27, 2011
Weekend satire special: New research accidentally conducted
by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has discovered that vaccines
activate the “moron” genes that normally lie dormant in human beings.
Once activated, these “moron genes” cause individuals to lose higher
brain function and the ability to question false information fed to
them by doctors, drug companies and the media. This, in turn, results
in even more people pursuing repeated vaccines, further causing
expression of the moron genes, over and over again, until their brain function collapses to the level of a raw vegetable… otherwise known as a “voter.”
Because of their disastrous effects on higher brain function, these vaccines are now being called “Moron Vaccines.”
Moron Vaccines contain all the usual ingredients of flu vaccines and MMR vaccines, including methyl mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde and DNA fragments from diseased monkey organs. (This is truly what’s found in other vaccines…)
But Moron Vaccines have one ingredient that’s slightly different. As Dr. All Proffit, a leading vaccine
patent holder, explained, “Moron Vaccines are much like regular
vaccines, except instead of taking diseased material from infected cows
and monkeys, we take brain
cell samples from existing morons which are easy to find among our
colleagues. We then weaken those brain cells to make them even more
moronic, and then we inject them into infants and children, mixed with a bit of mercury to make sure it targets the neurological system for maximum effectiveness.”
The result? As Bill Gates explains, “Billions of children each year
are being saved from IBFD.” IBFD is short for “Intelligent Brain
Function Disorder. It is an affliction affecting hundreds of millions
of people each year, causing them to achieve dangerously high levels of
cognitive function that causes them to ask inappropriate questions
about vaccines such as, “Why have vaccines never been tested against
non-vaccinated children?” Or, “Why do vaccines cause some children and
teens to collapse into autism, comas or death?” Or, “Why don’t flu vaccines actually prevent flu symptoms in 99 out of 100 people who receive them?”
Those questions have no place in today’s medical system, where the correct answer to every disease is — as doctors are routinely taught — “More vaccines!”
“The population
is too intelligent for its own good,” Dr. Proffit added. “The only way
to keep people in line with the expectations of Big Government, Big
Pharma and America’s top employers such as McDonald’s and Wal-Mart is to increase the moron density in America through a determined, long-term vaccination program carried out with the help of doctors and government medical authorities.”
To financially support that program, the Bill and Melinda Gates
Foundation (BMGF) is investing over fifty billion dollars to roll out
Moron Vaccines on a global scale. “This will help ensure that more
people buy Microsoft products,” explained Gates. “Because if they
regain higher brain function, they might be tempted to run Linux
instead.”
The FDA granted
approval to the Moron Vaccines based on the scientific clinical trial
data provided by the maker of the vaccines, most of which was, believe
it or not, fabricated by morons. “This is why the data are so
consistently reliable,” explained the company CEO. “When you’re studying
Moron Vaccines, who better to offer an experienced perspective than an
actual moron posing as a research scientist?”
The FDA was influenced in its decision to approve the vaccines by
the CDC, which recently warned that America was “suffering from an
epidemic of critical thinking”
that threatened the future of the U.S. government, the Federal
Reserve, and the vaccine industry in particular. The source of this epidemic has been traced to Rep. Ron Paul, of course.
“People who think for themselves are a threat to the U.S. government, and they are causing problems at airports, too,” said DHS secretary Janet Napolitano. “That’s why we’ve partnered with the FDA to make sure that those suffering from Intelligent Brain Function Disorder are offered ‘treatment’ at every opportunity.”(CONTINUE READING)
